in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
