We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
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I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
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I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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