is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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