somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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