I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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