haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
