another moral hangover. fuck.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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