Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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