Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
