Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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