"it" just moved
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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