i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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