Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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