You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
grandma shit on top of the toilet
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize