You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize