Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
worst night to have a conscience
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
