Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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