Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I party with great urgency now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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