also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize