Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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