We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
