hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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