just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
