Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
