we're blogging at a bar
i think my tv is drunk
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
