Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Im part way to drunk.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
