I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up