So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
