SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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