Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
