Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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