dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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