My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
