I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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