In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
false alarm. still invincible.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
