yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
