Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
