i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I currently don't understand fingers.
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