Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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