Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Are my feet made of real feet?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
