you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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