I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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