She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
