If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
