Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
