y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
