Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
