what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
