A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My feet surprised me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
