Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
