he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
