Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
