She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
