id be glad to
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
