That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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